Every freshman dorm has a dude who can kind of play acoustic guitar. After a couple of beers or when the banter isn’t lively enough, they whip it out and play “I’m Yours,” maybe donning a fedora. Reach for the moon and you’ll land on the stars, they say, and in this case the moon is becoming a professional musician and the stars is getting laid.
Now imagine that guy went on to start a multi-billion dollar social media conglomerate and he’s able to pay T-Pain to bring him the moon and the stars. That’s what Mark Zuckerberg did when he dropped an acoustic cover of “Get Low” two weeks ago. When it came out, I thought it was an archived Onion article from 2009 or a marketing ploy for a new AI music company.
There’s no need to link the song here and subject you to Guantanamo torture fodder. One listen to Zuck singing “‘Til the sweat drops down my balls” and you’d rather be trapped in the metaverse.
But to be honest, if I could pay T-Pain to auto tune my voice and make music with him, I would in an instant. And to cover your classic middle school dance anthem that is also the song that was playing when you first met your wife!? Zuck’s truly a lover, not a (MMA) fighter.
I hope Priscilla Chan-Zuckerberg loved the gesture. Hopefully Zuck got laid. At the least, he got to briefly live the dream of being a music star. Money can buy happiness.
Starting Five
Album of the Week
GNX by Kendrick Lamar
The beauty of owning your own record label is that you can release your shit whenever you want. K Dot needs no promo plan. And he doesn’t need to maintain an identity around last summer’s beef with Drake. He’s moved on, but he wants you to know he’s still at the top, packing heat and no one is safe.
Featured Tracks
Forget Kendrick vs. Drake. It’s Kendrick vs. Father John Misty.
I’ve been loving Thefvmousace’s wholesome videos where he teaches people abroad how to dance. Here’s the video for “squabble up.”
Peace, Love, and Positive Vibes.